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How to Gear Up for the Holidays

Let the festivities begin and Happy Holidays to you! If you’re not feeling festive yet- may I entice you in gearing up for the upcoming month of December? You don’t have to be religious to celebrate Christmas, after all it’s based on a pagan Nordic tradition from the folklore elves to the festive drinks.

Nothing better than celebrating the darkest days of the year with some lights, fairy dust, and gift giving and I can’t think of a better reason to throw another big festive food shindig…can you? I did pretty good this year and got a Canadian Fraser Fir the day after Thanksgiving. Nothing beats a black Friday Christmas tree deal, over six feet tall for under thirty bucks.

I decided to turn myself into the anti-Scrooge this year. Normally I’ld cringe and hiss before family members manage to get me into the holiday mood- occurring sometime towards Christmas Day (the day before to be exact). I just always believed religion and obsessive spending/ indulging in food, drink, and buying excessive unnecessary stuff was just unnecessary and therefore a bit sinful.

But there’s nothing wrong with celebrating the darkest days with lots of light, elves, festive food and drink to warm your soul. Since that’s a strictly unreligious practice- I’m glad to announce I’ve been converted, yay! To gear up for the holidays I’ve managed to prepare: 

1. Christmas tree decorated by the kids. All I had to do was drive them there, let the kids pick their tree and pay (cash only) the man who tied the tree to my car. Don’t forget to tip the person who carries the tree to your car. They work under extreme conditions standing outdoors all day long, often times till midnight- encountering festive little brats with their parents pick out a tree several hundred times a day yet always manage to cheer a smile for you when you’re there buying your pick of the forest.
2. I prepared 15 gallons liters of kimchi for my annual kimchi giveaway. This practice wasn’t inspired merely for the holidays, it just so happens to be cabbage season and kimchi making practices normally occur at this time of the year. So why not get some brownie points for sharing with my beloved friends and family? I tried it last year and got a bunch of hoorays and they’ve been waiting all year to get some more…so here it is!
3. The first kimchi takers of 2012. The Insatiable-Critic Gael Greene was the first person I handed a jar to (not pictured since I promised not to publish the photo- can I publish it later Gael? How about if I drew a nice hat into the photo?)
4. I have to give some kudos to the Red Farm Chef Joe Ng pictured above, who managed to make some amazing little sculptures out of Dim Sum dough. We’re planning on taking some Dim Sum classes hopefully very soon. Kimchi for Dim Sum lessons, not a bad barter eh?
5. I decided to go for it and build the candy covered edible Christmas tree this year for the kids (shhhh- they don’t know about it yet)….
6. For inspiration, I dug up this old (very bad hair day photo) of a peacock I sculpted using edible foodstuffs. The armature was made of rabbit carcass and a roasted turkey breast before I laid a vinegar based dough over it and fire torched the thing, then molding it to look like this. It originally sat on top of aspic neatly decorated with flower petal designs before somebody decided to move my piece in the walk in and I discovered an ugly pile of liquid crapped on my perfectly ruined aspic the following day. Thanks anonymous person who ruined my aspic two years ago…I don’t know who you are- but you should be getting one of these bottles coming in your direction very soon. Karma’s a Bitch. See bottle below.

7. Last but not least. If you get one of these bottles gifted to you this holiday season, you know you’ve been a little naughty this year. P.S. They’re sold at big chain liquor stores and Whole Foods Market nationwide.

That’s about it for today! I hope ya’ll are ready for Christmas! The one thing I didn’t get a chance to get is a furry red sweater with reindeer and snowflakes. Still shopping for one of those cooky sweaters. Where to buy a Cooky Christmas Sweater Guide coming very soon! Happy December Everyone!!

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